I enjoyed reading this - have not seen it before.

If I ever had an inner child my inner sadist tortured raped and mutilated it to death.

This is so true of inner tumoil, the war raging within!

smooche~

aw!  

To: little-whip

V^^^^^^^^V bite

To: jennifer1

I wrote it last weekend. It took about twenty minutes, because I've had bits and pieces of it floating around in my head for months. Sometimes I'll have an idea and the poem will take shap almost instantly. But there are also times when ispiration is thin on the ground and then whatever I eventually write comes in dribbles and spurts. It's like squeezing blood from a stone, some times.

This is so true of inner tumoil, the war raging within!

As to turmoil and conflict within - there is none. My inner sadist did a very thorough job of disposing of my inner child - which is why I can say that I have the heart of a child still, but I keep it in a glass jar on my desk. The poem is actually about internal union and what proceeds from it. I cast it in this form because if I'd used kabbalistic imagery and terms, say in the form of a gnostic hymn, then it would have been much harder to convey any sense of menace, which is there intentionally.

But by borrowing Yeats's imagery of the 'rough beast slouching toward Bethlehem to be born' it becomes easy to make reference to unity and destruction, and to unity in destruction, at once.

When union is made between Shekinah and Shaddai el chai, and it's done in darkness, then the individual who acheives that union gives birth in himself to what, in the west, can only be spoken of as the anti-christ. And in this poem the anti-christ is the ragged monster, my ungentle darling. And any conflict is referred to the external world, after this inner birth, and not to any trouble or disturbance within the one writing the poem.

and not to any trouble or disturbance within the one writing the poem.

No, never thought it was you.

I thought in terms of "the human race".

The conflicts, torments and wars raging inside them. Human beings are more often than not at war with their own emotions at one time or another in their life times.

The rough beast I saw as temptations that caused the raging turmoils. If not temptations then self destructive behaviours that cause one to look at temptation as an option to "get out".

However, thank you for telling me why and what for it was written. It is a very interesting read. One I feel many will interpret differently to you or I.

for example:

It's in me this raggedy thing that hides its teeth behind a quiet smile and every rock that causes me to stumble is just one more rock - fit only to sharpen the claws I drag behind my raggedy self.

could be interpreted as an inherent natural evil that dwells within man causing him to "stumble in the path of life" (sinning)

many ways to look at it, but the right way is to examine the poets interpretation and make the most of it from there.

thanks again

To: jennifer1

It's in me this raggedy thingthat hides its teeth behind a quiet smileand every rock that causes me to stumble is just one more rock - fit only to sharpen the claws I drag behind my raggedy self.

This is a deliberate reference to Christianity, and to the Tentmaker's reference in either Hebrews or Romans to Jesus as the rock that makes men stumble. For a long time, Christianity was a stone I stumbled over: fortunately, I've since kicked it out of the way.

And the 'raggedy thing' I refer to is my own will towards what is commonly called evil. 'Evil be thou my good' says the 'Satanist', in imitation of Anton le Vay. But for the 'Satanist' evil is no more than his particular pleasures which the world finds worthy of condemnation. Evil is more than pleasure condemned. Evil, in its real nature, is the reversal, the overturning, of everything commonly considered 'good'.

If you were to ask my wife what the difference between myself and every other man she's known is, she would say that every other man she's known was a stupid brute, cruel because it had no conception of how to be otherwise. She would say that I differ from them in being, actually, evil. And so I am. Because evil is the inversion or reversal of what is commonly called 'good'. And it's this inversion and reversal that I refer to as 'my ungentle darling'.

I am not a 'good' man, and have never claimed that I was. All I say of myself is that I am civil.

Really interesting! I do not know who Anton Le Vay is - will look him up on the net.

She would say that I differ from them in being, actually, evil. And so I am. Because evil is the inversion or reversal of what is commonly called 'good'. And it's this inversion and reversal that I refer to as 'my ungentle darling'. I am not a 'good' man, and have never claimed that I was. All I say of myself is that I am civil.

That is quite a statement.

Well I am glad that I got the gist of it and have an understanding of it. There is so much more that can be read into poetry than just the surface of the words.

Okay I found him and had a read up

WWW Link">Link[link="http://religiousmovements.lib.virginia.edu/nrms/satanism/churchof.html"]WWW Link

quote from the link:-

The Church of Satan proposes that emotions such as greed, lust, and hatred are natural instincts and the denial of these feelings is utterly incorrect. They point out the hypocrisy that stems from people worshipping laws that they can't possibly follow, then feeling better again once they have confessed their sins and repented. Members would descibe themselves not as beings full of hatred and sin, but normal people who have come to grips with the carnal nature of humanity.
end quote


emotions such as greed, lust, and hatred are natural instincts - this I believe is true, we are born and have to be taught to be good and "nice".


I do believe that without good this world would be a total shit hole, it is a good thing that man works at being good and kind and considerate toward one another.

I could not belong to that church, I believe in striving for goodness rooting out my bad evil inner self which is where my inner turmoil comes into play. Sometimes it does feel so good to be really angry and hateful, but it is the feeling afterwards that I despise, the self loathing and disbelief in my actions. So I fight the bad to go for the good.

It is indeed a very interesting poem.

behold these wounds in mine open hands.. dripping endlessly with the culmination of my sins. for ive tarried excessively long in laying waste to paradise... gorging myself on mans icy contempt, and all the while starving myself of anything bearing even a vague likeness to pompous compassion.

Whoa - angry and icy!

I would love to hear aeryks interpretation of this - blasphemy aaargh! Me thinks we should keel haul im on capt'n starkers ship!

Am I correct in seeing this as Jesus pouring his guts out in a vile spew of distate for mans constant deniel of him?

or is it something completely different?

To: jennifer1

Am I correct in seeing this as Jesus pouring his guts out in a vile spew of distate for mans constant deniel of him?

It's more a case of a worshipper raging at the gods for their incompetence and deceit... and at their 'followers', for failing to see that the feet they wash with blood and tears actually belong to those useless idols the prophets of the OT spent so much breath condemning - uselessly.

To: jennifer1

A different take on the 'jesus' you referred to (may it make KFC and her ilk vomit).

We All Have Our Jesus Too.

We all have our jesus too

That’s the darkly shining, impish
Bitchjesus, Loki’s
Brother,
That I still sometimes see and think that I believe in.

If my jesus ever wept he did it in acid over a
Grin as he bucked on some fat
Niggahs cock.

I’ve seen him in sheds with kids, burning kittens
In alleys with the 50 kicking 1 to death.

I’ve seen him in cells with the torturers and
In the basement with daddy, fucking the kid.

See, this evil
Bitchjesus died for the torturers and the pimps and the
Child killers and the rapists

The pornographers, perverts and freaks.

Freaks, pretty puppets, just like
Me.

But I’m not feeling guilty so I don’t want saving and

What I actually like about him (other than his pretty mouth and his pretty ass)
is that he didn’t
Fucking
Whine.

Yes, I can see that it would make them pukey, you will have aeryk on his knees praying for your soul!