Or, stuff you don't know... and might not want to
1. I hate, loathe, detest, abominate and am revolted by spiders.
2. I love cartoons of all kinds.
3. The only DC Comics I liked were Dr. Strange and the Silver Surfer.
4. I am completely devoid of any sense of direction.
5. Numbers make no sense to me.
6. I am English.
7. I am not 'British'.
8. My ancestry is Spanish and Irish.
9. When I was an adolescent I fantasised about being a mortician so I could have sex with pretty corpses.
10. I once spent over an hour in a chatroom convincing everyone else there I was a necrophile.
11. I spent over two years as an online lesbian.
12. I first had sex at 13 with another kid called Paul, who was 14.
13. I am a practicing Ritual Magickian.
14. I love cars but know nothing about them except how to make them go and stop.
15. I adore Apple Macs.
16. I love ultra-violent computer games, especially Doom and Quake.
17. I have had 5 female lovers, including my present wife.
18. I have had 4 male lovers.
19. I once had beautiful feet.
20. I have a flipper instead of a left hand.
21. My flipper is called mademoiselle and speaks with a french accent.
22. My father used to tell me that he was going to pull both my arms off and beat me to death with them.
23. He also used to say he would make me suck the wet ends first.
24. Where women are concerned I was still a virgin on the night of my first wedding - at 26.
25. I once had 7 cats.
26. I now have 2 dogs and 2 cats.
27. Human suffering leaves me unmoved but I can't tolerate cruelty to dumb beasts.
28. I once taught philosophy in college.
29. I never had sex with any of my students.
30. I often wanted to have sex with a wide variety of my students.
31. My students thought I was wonderful.
32. I drink my coffee black.
33. Except when I have creamer and sugar in it.
34. I didn't smoke my first joint till I was 36.
35. I now smoke weed whenever I can get it.
36. When I was a schoolkid I could speak Jamaican patois like a native.
37. I almost murdered a kid in my class at school.
38. There have been 3 attempts on my life.
39. The first 2 were carried out by my stepfather.
40. The third by a drunk in a pub.
41. When convinced of the neccesity to be so I am entirely ruthless and amoral.
42. My favourite sexual activity as a Sadist involves strapping a woman to a slightly curved surface and then beating her breasts and pubic mound with a riding crop.
43. My second favourite game involves cutting intricate patterns in her flesh with a fresh razor-blade.
45. I believe there is only one real sexual perversion - denying your nature because others will think you a pervert if it becomes known.
46. I detest hypocrisy above all other ethical failings.
47. You should never ask me for the truth about yourself - because I will always tell you.
48. I prefer Armangac above all other liqours.
49. I prefer dark beers to light.
50. My favourite name for a cat is Gnogg (which is short for Gnoggbad the Bad).